


Put the Stars in Your Eyes

by petit_moineau



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Childhood Sweethearts, Entomophobia, M/M, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-08
Updated: 2015-05-08
Packaged: 2018-03-29 13:02:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3897331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/petit_moineau/pseuds/petit_moineau
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Little Levi's taken with a new boy with stars in his eyes, but Eren's greatest love is Levi's biggest fear.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Put the Stars in Your Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> This is for my dear Kingy and her thirst for innocent fluffy shotaere shenanigans. 
> 
> Yes, I'm aware that second graders wouldn't be so stubborn, though I once harbored a crush on someone for two years of elementary school and nobody knew~~

Little Levi is _terrified_ of bugs. Big bugs, small bugs, no matter how many legs they have, even butterflies make him freeze up, silently saying "oh please oh please _oh please_ " in a fervent prayer they won't land on him. His uncle thinks it's hilarious; for his last birthday, he got an ant farm, and he _did_ actually watch in amazed horror as these macabre tiny things moved individual particles of dirt to build a great hill comparable to the pyramids. He pawned it off on Hanji the next day. 

Little Eren collects bugs, on the other hand. When Mama and Papa told him they were moving all the way across the country and that his bug friends that he keeps in a little plastic habitat wouldn't do very well traveling that far, he'd cried and cried, big, fat, heartbreaking tears rolling down his face as his chest ached so badly he could hardly make any sounds. There was one very good thing about moving, though--they'd moved so far away that a lot of the bugs were _much_ different from the ones at his old home. He had happily spent all the days leading up to the start of his new school digging little holes all through the garden, ostensibly to help his mama replant her vegetables but really to dig for new bugs, because "look, Mama, this one has little pinchy things!" 

Eren's first day of school is also show and tell, so he brings in his (currently empty) bug habitat. Levi has trouble catching his breath at this new boy, with his sparkling bright green eyes and the big hole where all four of his top front teeth should be. His name isn't anything different, just 'Aaron' with a different spelling, but something about it, and the fact that Eren proudly says that it's Turkish, like his father, makes Levi like the way it feels in his mouth. He shakes his head. He's being stupid and hangs out with dreamy Isabel too much. Besides, he can't be friends with a boy who likes bugs. 

Eren has found that liking bugs makes him tough, somehow, among the second grade. All the boys openly admire him but that one really small boy, the one with the strange gray eyes. He'd felt like he'd been cut through when the boy--Levi--looked at him, before he'd sharply turned away, as if Eren was the most disinteresting thing. Eren had come home proclaiming he'd never seen gray eyes, and his papa, a doctor, had sat him down and told him all about eyes and genes and how some doctors thing that there are only really two colors of eyes, and everything else is just a shade in between. 

Eren likes science, but sometimes it takes the mystery out of things, like the way his insides felt when the boy looked at him, and how he felt he'd do anything for that boy to find him interesting. 

Levi doesn't talk to him. He watches. Levi is quiet, and people assume he's shy. He's not really; he's just very good at observing and has, his mother says, an old soul. Eren seemed like a bubbly person, but he has trouble making friends, Levi notices. As his uncle would say, he has a big mouth and bad judgment. On one notable occasion, Eren ended up suspended from the monkey bars by his underwear, courtesy of Reiner Braun, who is exactly twice Eren's size. His favorite person to bicker with seems to be Jean Kirschstein, but Eren's insult game is rather weak and seems mostly to consist of neighing at Jean. Mostly, Eren keeps to himself at recess, digging in the dirt for bugs and scooping the best specimens into his plastic habitat. 

When the weather turns cool and the leaves go a brilliant red, the bugs all die or go to sleep for the winter and Eren gets a little feisty. For some reason unknown to him, it's totally uncool for boys to read, except for that strange boy with the silver eyes, who seems to be immune to all taunts and trends. So when his bug-hunting takes a seasonal break, if he can't read, he picks fights. Jean talks smack about his sister--in a different class, fortunately--and makes cracks about her being adopted, as if that somehow makes her not his real sister or makes their relationship less. Eren punches him in the jaw. He spends a week of recess writing lines on a board. The third or fourth time he almost picks a fight with Reiner out of boredom, Levi grabs his sleeve firmly. "You'll probably get expelled if you fight him. Make sure it's worth it."

Eren gasps, the air stolen out of his lungs like a flame. Levi has a voice like his mama's wind chimes. 

Eren doesn't pick fights anymore. Levi sees him with a small blond boy at recess, laughing with his sister, and during quiet time he reads about stars and astronauts. His eyes sparkle during show and tell. "We are made of stars, and the stars are made of _diamonds_ ," he says in a hushed tone, like he can't quite believe it. Levi's lips part, completely caught up. He can't quite believe it, either. _This boy is beautiful_ , he thinks. 

At Eren's new school, it seems that when it's a student's birthday, it's up to them to bring a cake or treats for the rest of the class. Right before Christmas, Levi quietly sidles up to him and hands him a cupcake with icing in blue, green, and gray swirls, colors blending seamlessly like a galaxy. "Take it," Levi whispers, bending close to his ear. He smells like cinnamon. "Don't tell anyone. This one is special." It is, Eren notes with surprise--the rest of the class received slices of cake from the bakery case at the grocery store. "My mom and I made them," Levi explains, though it's not much of an explanation, and a small smile curves his lips as he walks away. 

Levi's name falls from Eren's lips at every turn, always in a slightly breathless and awed tone. "Mama, Levi reads big books, like for _grownups!_ He read _David Copperfield_ , Mama, and he won so many points in the library reading contest that they closed it early! And Levi and his mama like to bake, and he's the fastest runner in the entire second grade, and his mama knits him scarves, Mama, why don't you knit scarves? And--" 

His mama throws up her hands and laughs, overwhelmed with the waterfall of his thoughts. "I'm so glad you've made such a good friend," she says, but she smiles kind of slyly, like she knows something he doesn't. It makes him feel unbearably sad. There's already a spot in his chest he can't touch where Levi is concerned. They're not really friends. Levi always looks at him like he hates him.

"I didn't know you were friends with Levi," Mikasa says wonderingly. "Why don't you invite him to play with us at recess?"

"I don't think he'd be interested in something like that," Eren shoots back, suddenly feeling shy. He hates the way the heat shoots up his cheeks. 

Levi infuriates him, actually. Eren doesn't understand him. He basically ignores Eren, never talking to him or looking at him except for the odd time he reminds Eren why bashing Jean in the shins would be a bad idea, or a suggestion for a new book, or just enough to make Eren's heart throb in his ears. Eren tries talking to him first, about anything--outer space, books, the buds on the trees that imply that spring will come back and so will the bugs--but he can't. His throat feels full and tight, like if he opens his mouth, his heart will fall out. And if Levi looks at him with those weird, fantastic eyes full of indifference, it just might. 

Levi aches around Eren. His fingers ache to rub out the crease between his eyes that forms during math tests. His chest aches when Eren's brilliant eyes light up, taken hold by some new thing that's fascinated him. His throat aches when he tries to talk to him, so he does so sparingly, almost always something that sounds stupid, at least to his own ears. The dawn of spring finds him waiting with bated breath, hoping to the depths of his soul that Eren doesn't bring his bug habitat back to school. Eren does. He uses it to collect spiders now. Levi is on the verge of talking to him on the playground when he sees Eren holding a stick, a large, spindly spider dangling from the tip. The fear leaps into his throat in an entirely different way this time, and he flees, ducking into Hanji's side and chanting, "Tell me there's no spiders over here, I don't care if it's a lie, just do it." He's so disappointed in himself that if a few tears slip out that night in bed when the house is still and quiet, nobody has to know. 

The end of March finds them wet and cold. Eren's birthday is one particularly blustery day. In a break with tradition, Levi brings Eren enough cupcakes to share with the entire class, who are so enraptured to get double helpings of dessert (courtesy of the brownies Eren's mother made) that it doesn't occur to them to tease Levi for his gesture. Even so, he's scared, and fear makes him prickly. "Here," he says grumpily, almost knocking Eren down with the force he puts into the cupcake platter he pushes into Eren's chest. "Don't squish them. There's a book under there, too." He stomps off before Eren can say anything, though he can feel those green eyes searing into him like the stars whose dust lives in his bones. 

Eren is too astonished to breathe. He almost wishes Levi had given him the cupcakes privately so he'd have a valid reason not to share. The book underneath the platter is wrapped in plain brown paper with neat edges. Levi watches him carefully as he turns it over; Eren catches him, though he immediately darts his eyes away as if there were something more interesting to look at. Eren grins hugely, tongue running over where his teeth are coming in. Now he knows the truth: at least right now, and maybe other times, Levi is acting. The book turns out to be an encyclopedia of the different bugs in their area. He gasps, clapping a hand over his mouth, as his eyes seek out Levi's. Levi twitches, his gaze locked on the cover of the book even as he turns pale.

It makes so much sense that Eren nearly drops the book on his foot. Carefully he arranges the book back in its wrappings and steps over his classmates seated crosslegged on the rug to the corner where Levi sits, momentarily alone as his two best friends get some of Eren's mama's brownies. "Thank you very much for my birthday present," he says carefully, like Levi might run away if he speaks too quickly or comes too close. Levi nods slowly. What he's about to say feels so stupid he almost doesn't, and then the grip on his throat loosens and the words fall out. "Levi, are you afraid of bugs? Is that why you won't really be my friend? Because I like bugs?" Levi looks down, frowning and rubbing at the back of his neck, his face getting steadily redder. "You can tell me." Eren adds quickly, sitting down next to him, close enough to feel the heat rolling off him. 

Levi opens his mouth, chewing the inside of his cheek. "I don't...like bugs much," he says reluctantly, face red, red, red. 

"But you gave me a book about them anyway," Eren says gently, brave enough to nudge his shoulder.

The look Levi gives him is not one that Eren can begin to understand, but it makes his chest _throb_ , and he gasps, as if someone's sucked all the air out of the room. Levi's eyes are full of stars, and he bites his lip, nodding. 

As if Levi were the most precious new luna moth, Eren takes his hand. Levi has long, delicate fingers and cool hands. Eren's are chubby and perpetually sweaty. Levi's eyes dart to their hands in surprise, but he quickly turns his own over, linking their fingers and giving Eren's hot little palm a reassuring squeeze. Eren grins, face lighting up. The flush in Levi's face swooshes down his neck and settles warmly over his heart. He swallows hard, willing his throat to unlatch just enough. "Y'know..." he starts carefully. "Hanji said that, well...if you're afraid of something, sometimes it helps if you learn a lot about it?" He hates how it sounds like a question. Eren's face is tight with anticipation. "Hanji is weird." It's absolutely the wrong thing to say; Eren's face starts to slip into dismay. Levi's mind freezes as he scrambles for the magic answer. He bumps Eren's shoulder. "Teach me about them. Why they're so special, I mean."

Eren's face returns degree by breathtaking degree, his eyes shining like sun on a lake. "Okay," he breathes.

"No spiders," Levi warns. "Six legs only."

Eren's laugh bubbles up from his chest, free and easy. "Oh, alright." He pulls at Levi's hands, hauling the shorter, smaller boy to his feet. "Come on! The best way to start is by going outside. Don't worry," he grins over his shoulder like a devil, just trusting that Levi will follow. "I'll start you out on some pretty little butterflies."

Levi will always follow. 

And he pulls Levi out into the dazzling spring light, the clouds from earlier gone like a dream. He plops himself down in the shade of a flowering bush, waiting for the butterflies with rapture on his face. The first one hands, and quick as a snake, Eren catches it in his cupped hands, just holding it and letting Levi get as close as he wants. "This is the painted lady, see, because it has these spots and swirls and it's all delicate. And they use this big long antenna in front to eat, all they eat is raindrops and sugar water, see? And--" 

And Levi tunes out, watching Eren's glorious face. For him, he decides, he'll learn to tolerate bugs. He blinks as he registers Eren taking his hand and saying his name. The butterfly has flown off to better landing places than an eight year old's grubby hand. "Can I tell you something?" Eren asks in a breathy whisper. Levi nods tightly. "This is the best birthday ever." Like lightning, he leans in and kisses Levi's cheek before running off, like he's just realized what he's done and doesn't want to deal with it. 

Levi stands still, shocked into a pillar of salt, before a slow warmth rises up, up, up through his feet, his chest, his face, tingling down to his hands. _What was I waiting for?_ he asks himself. _Why did I avoid him for so long?_

And he breaks into a run, into the light, after the boy with the bugs.

**Author's Note:**

> I have a [tumblr](http://darlingargent.tumblr.com)


End file.
